Shortly after the World Premiere of the first kubb documentary, riots broke out in downtown Eau Claire, marking only the 2nd time in world history when kubb did not create peace on Earth.

Volume 1.5 has reported that on March 29th, 2014 at around 4:00 p.m. a roving "kubb mob" convened on downtown Eau Claire chanting "Kubb is a sport!" leaving a trail of ruin and wreckage in their paths.

(Once the kubb capitol of North America, Eau Claire now destroyed like the corner of a Finals Pitch on Sunday afternoon.)

These riots are a grim reminder to community leaders of the devastation last July after a local team, Kubbsicles, won back to back US National Championships in the sport of Kubb (or as they call it in Canada, barefootsy tickle-sticks.)

A vested worker guarded the State Theater with a flashlight during the fray, yelling "This place can't take another riot. Begone!" He then proceeded to shake his "crime-stick".

Downtown was not the only areas effected by the wreckage. 246 players from the various teams named "Kubb Noobs" descended upon the local Scheels, leaving only 14 kubb sets on the shelves after the looting, then proceeded to argue who was the first to name their team, leading to one player saying something very grumpy-like to another player.

A representative from Scheels stated "Sunday was a slow day, yes, but we did sell 14 kubb sets, so we will call it a success."

The ripples of the Premiere were felt all through the Midwest.

In Ames, IA, it was reported that a college kid yelled "Kubb! Yeah!" out of a car window. Local authorities were promptly called to the scene to quell the dire situation, and to categorize the kid as a scrub. Officer Charles of the APD stated "He be thinkin' he so fly tryin' to holla at me. Ain't no way!"

(Kubb! Yeah!)

Current Minnesota Governor plead with state theaters not to screen the film, claiming the state was "unprepared for the inevitable frenzy that would follow" and to "wait until I have seen Grand Budapest Hotel for God's sake."

But not is all lost in Eau Claire. A local group of cowboys and ranchers staged a "kubbathon" to divert local no-do-gooder kubbers from further harm to the city. Playing kubb, and using big words like "manifesto" and adding "quotes" around words for emphasis has calmed the kubb community and redirected their energy away from the city.

During the 36 hour "kubbathon", city leaders, state workers, along with contractors from surrounding states (in exchange for votes) will start on repairs that are expected to be completed by April 2nd.

When confronted about what the state will do in July when the Kubbsicles are expected to win a 3rd Title in a row, the Governor has already called in for the National Guard to be on watch, and will institute a curfew of 9:00 p.m. for the city during the kubb tournament. Kubb socials have also been warned against by city leaders, and only time will tell if the requests are heeded.


Go confluence. We are with you.