Any tradition as long and storied as the pastime of kubb has many people who contributed to its success , but today I would like to take a moment to recognize a few of those people who truly  revolutionized the game .  

As we all remember from history class the Franco-Prussian war was fought not with guns and artillery but rather with 19 simultaneous and synchronized games of kubb played on Saturn's moon Mimas (which by the way looks just like the damn Death Star)

(Which one is made of water, ice, mostly rock, and small wooden shacks?)

But what people often overlook is the fact that it was during these games that Frenchie “Mr. Paradise” El Sassonion first introduce the wooden baton to the game of kubb . 

(The Sassonion had more wives than ties)

 
 As we all know originally kubb was played with adamantium throwing knives and while it was considered bad form to aim directly for your opponents face, ricochets to the eyes were expected in competitive matches .  On this fateful day though Frenchie had a quadruple date later with Josephine Sparre , Wilhelmine Schroder , Hanna Styrell and Elise Hwasser and was heard to remark “I need my eyes, I'm going to be doing a whole lot of SEEING later if you know what I mean .”  No one did , but they nevertheless found the suggestion of using wooden throwing knives to be “a corker” .  And it was these wooden knives that eventually became the now familiar baton still in use today .  Thanks Frenchie .  

Our next influential person is none other than the famous Lil 50-Tooth “Pew pew pew” Herandez the Long Island Landscaper .

(Hernandez: a great revolutionizer of the game, and a geometry "quiddler")

Hernandez is known for many kubb innovations such as reducing the number of baseline kubbs from 109 to 5 and changing the shape of the pitch from a hourglass to a rectangle but his most famous contribution to kubb is undoubtedly the institution of the king .  Prior to Hernandez's so called King Rule , a game of kubb continued until one team starved to death .  It was a harsh game for a harsh time in human history .  But Hernandez knew there was a better way .  Due to a childhood drama Hernandez hated starving to death. "It's literally the worst” he commented once .  And while the “king” was quickly adopted in most non-tournament games , it was several years before mysterious Decemvirate of Dread Obligatory Hierarchy that ruled over the professional kubb ranks was willing to make the change .  Its rumored they were only won over when Hernandez scored them some killer tickets to a Black Flag show at the Garden where they did rare covers of both “All the Young Dudes” by Mott the Hoople and “Come and Get It” by by Badfinger .  

The origin of the legendary “Fail King” is still unknown however .  
 
And the final kubb innovator I would like to honor is Rekhebha “Uncanny-Valley” McGuiness

(The first Chick with a Stick)
Who introduced the time limit to the game of kubb .  In the original format of kubb , where the was no time limit an unfortunate phenomena arose .  One thing common in games is that there is always someone who finds a way to completely suck the fun out of it . These are the people who want to win by virtue of making the game boring . In First Person Shooters it's the "campers" and in kubb its the chislers .

Chiselers play defensive only , keeping the back-and-forth going forever and ever , "chiseling" at the stamina and the mind of an opponent until one or the other breaks, sucking the will to win (and live) out of the game. It's sort of like water torture , but the droplets of water hitting your forehead are kubb batons , and the insanity you're experiencing is the game .  

Rekheba hated the practice of chiseling so much she said “What's the deal ?”  And since everyone was astonished by a lady playing kubb they agreed institute a time limit on the spot .  And all the known chiselers were beaten up, and referred to as "inkastares" so that everyone knew who they were. This is why inkastares now have to hire bodyguards everywhere they go.